I’m a Deaf Parent of a Trans Teen – Here’s What I’ve Learned

Part of the “Caregivers Speak” series from the Liberating Purple Star Collective

When my child told me they were trans, I froze — not out of fear or disbelief, but because I wanted so badly to get it right. I wanted them to know I supported them fully, but I also knew that my Deaf identity and their trans identity would create a path that isn’t always well-lit or well-resourced.

Like many Deaf parents, I’ve had to fight for access — to interpreters, to inclusive education, to basic respect. But being a parent to a trans teen? That introduced an entirely new layer of advocacy and learning.

This is what I’ve learned so far. Maybe it will help another Deaf caregiver out there feel a little less alone.

What to Do if Your Child is Trans

1. Trust Your Child’s Truth

Your child knows who they are — even if they’re still exploring what that looks like or how to express it. It took me a while to realize that I didn’t have to understand everything right away to be supportive. What mattered most was listening, being present, and making sure they felt safe being themselves.

For us, ASL became a powerful tool to communicate gender, emotion, and change. Some signs didn’t exist or didn’t feel right, so we created our own. We gave each other space to figure it out — together.

2. You Can Be Deaf and a Fierce Advocate

There were moments when I felt like I had to “choose” which identity to advocate for in public: Deaf or trans. That’s a false choice. We’re not meant to split ourselves up to fit other people’s comfort.

Being a Deaf parent of a trans teen means navigating school meetings where interpreters are missing, or doctors who talk more than they listen. But I’ve learned to speak up, document everything, and ask for help when I need it. My child deserves a world where they can be heard — and so do I.

3. Learn the Language of Gender — and Keep Learning

I didn’t grow up with words like “nonbinary,” “dysphoria,” or “they/them pronouns.” But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn them now. My child has taught me so much about gender, and I’ve worked hard to meet them where they are.

In ASL, some gender concepts are still evolving. We made signs together. We watched videos. I asked questions. I made mistakes. And through all of it, my child saw me trying — and that meant everything.

At Liberating Purple Star Collective (LPSC), we are now empowering Deaf caregivers and supporting trans kids, particularly those who are trans, non-binary, or gender-diverse.

 4. Home Should Be a Safe and Celebrated Space

We made small but meaningful changes at home. Clothes they felt comfortable in. A new sign name. A mirror in their room. Books that reflect their identity. We talked openly about boundaries, language, and what support looked like.

Some days were hard. But every moment we chose celebration over silence helped them grow into someone proud, not scared, of who they are.

5. You’re Not Alone — Even If It Feels That Way

At first, I thought we were the only Deaf family navigating this. But we’re not. There are others. I found lgbtq support groups, online spaces, and organizations like the Liberating Purple Star Collective that get it.

Being in a community changed everything. I stopped feeling isolated. My child met other kids like them. We both began to thrive — not just survive.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a parent of transgender, reading this and your child just came out — take a deep breath. You don’t have to know everything right now. You just have to show up, listen, and love them as they are.

You are doing better than you think. And you’re not alone anymore.

💜 Want to connect with other Deaf caregivers?
Join our Liberated deaf non profit organization or share your story with us. We’re building this community for all of us — one sign, one voice, one heart at a time.